Facts.

First of all, thank you guys so much for all the love and support. We are super grateful. And now - my attempt to fill you in on all the details: 


There are a handful of children in this world that I love so much, it makes my heart ache. And I’ve yet to meet a child (or a dog, for that matter) that David couldn’t win over. But he and I have never been just desperate for children. We’ve been married since August of 2007, and we’ve had it good – really, really good. When our friends started having babies several years ago, we were hesitant to follow suit. But the Lord began to remind us that children are a blessing, and that a family is a good and beautiful thing. (Psalm 127) In 2010, we stopped actively preventing children. After nearly a year of no pregnancy by “chance,” we started “trying.” And after about another year with no baby, my doctor still recommended giving it a few more months. During that time, we started the conversation, “If something is wrong, how far do we take this process?”

We agreed fairly quickly that we’d have testing done to get all of the facts, but we far preferred adoption over anything medical. Sure enough, testing told us last Fall that the chances of a biological baby were slim to none. And I gotta say, it kinda felt like the ground was pulled out from underneath me. But those are feelings. These are the facts.

After visiting a fertility specialist and getting the 411 on the IVF, it became clear to us that adoption was the way we wanted to expand our family. After researching a few agencies and asking around, we applied with Christian Homes and Family Services. We completed the pre-application in January and attended orientation in March. Now we’re tackling the big ol’ mound of paperwork for our official application.

We are pursuing a domestic, open adoption – which means we will most likely meet and know the birth mother prior to the baby’s birth. In fact, she will choose us from a group of potential birth parents. Our child will most likely know his or her mother’s background and will most likely keep some sort of relationship with her after our child’s birth. I say “most likely” because every situation is different. And if there is one thing I’ve gathered so far from this whole process, it’s to keep a loose grip on any of my expectations.

Answers to FAQ’s:

• We are not given the option to choose gender.
• We specified that we are open to any race.
• We were required to list certain medical challenges we were unwilling to accept - which is basically the weirdest, most difficult checklist to complete ever.
• Our goal is to complete the application process by June 1st.
• Once our application is complete, we will have a home study done.
• After the home study is complete, the average wait time is 18 months. <deep exhale>
• After the baby is born, our birthmother is required to wait 48 hours before signing parental rights away.
• There’s a 4-6 month period after the birth before we go to court, and the adoption is finalized.
• After all is said and done, the adoption will cost around $26,000. Yes, it might be a little tacky to talk about money, and yes, that’s a lot of money. But it’s a reality. And if you happen to have piles and piles of cash lying around that you’d like to get rid of, we’ll gladly take it off of your hands.

Believe me, I have plenty of feelings about all of those facts, but that’s for another post. And while I also have plenty of reservations about the process, the Lord has been sweet to affirm us along the way.  For example:

• When we were waiting for our second set of test results last summer, David took the opportunity to play guitar for another church’s Sunday services – something he rarely does. That morning, he met a drummer who had a very similar story to ours. He couldn’t stop talking about how much he loved his adopted son – and how much he loved the agency they chose. That day, David came home, and we had our first real discussion about the possibility of adopting. And the agency was Christian Homes.

• We went to orientation in March along with 5 other couples. One of the women grew up in Garland (our home town), and we found all sorts of connections between us. And the couple we sat next to knew my brother and sister-in-law through their church. Small world.

• After orientation, we came home to look at the Christian Homes website. One of the couples waiting for a baby lived next door to us. One week later, we saw them walking down the street with a stroller and the sweet baby girl they had just been placed with. Our next. door. neighbors, y’all….

In moments when the process seems too overwhelming or I’m struggling with one of the many emotions I’m feeling, these moments remind me of His faithfulness.

So. Those are the facts. I’m sure I’ve left something out, but hopefully this gives you a better picture of where we’ve been and where we are now. Questions are welcome, but I may not have answers just yet. Stay tuned to find out where we go from here.