Well, friends… It appears as though our Ruby is a true
Smith. She’s probably going to be a little bit late... Every time my phone makes a
noise of any kind, I jump. Any time a phone within ten feet of me makes a noise
of any kind, I jump. Almost hourly, if not more than that, someone asks, “Any
word?” And then almost immediately, they ask if I’m tired of hearing that
question. I must be wearing the monotony on my face. And (cue Usher) this is my
confession: I am a little weary of
the questions.
There are a million different reasons why, but the biggest
is this: I don’t want to give you disappointing news. I want to be able to give
details and build the excitement and share in the celebration. But the Lord has
made us to wait a bit longer, and for that, I’m honestly grateful. We’ve
crossed off b-list and c-list priority to-dos. We’ve been able to attend events
we had planned on missing. We’ve been able to spend a lot of time as husband
and wife before we become mom and dad. And that is invaluable.
The second is this: I haven’t arrived at “excited” yet. (I mean, don't get me wrong. Have you seen tiny baby girl clothes?) But my
list of concerns run the spectrum of “How am I gonna fix her hair?” to “What if
we don’t get to keep her?” And to be
honest, I think I’m still a little bit in denial. I know the other side of
delivery means a world of change – and could mean a world of heartache. And
we’re willing to take that risk because it’s rich and deep and beautiful, and
it means obedience to our King. But the gravity and complexity of the situation
is a little too much for me at times. So I’m putting one foot in front of the
other, taking each moment as it comes. And trusting that I will be excited when I see that sweet and squishy little face.
Ruby will be here soon, which is kind of unreal. I'm sure we'll make some sort of announcement on social media, but, unless sleep deprivation induces uncanny inspiration, it may be radio silence over here for a while. Let me just say thank you for your patience with me and my awkward responses to your questions. And thank you for asking – please don’t stop! It’s a reminder that we are loved, cared for, and supported. Which is, again – invaluable.
Also – just as a side note: There’s another big change happening in the Smith house. Over two years ago, my husband began the process of becoming a firefighter. On Monday, he will start with the City of Irving, and we are thrilled! The Lord has heard our prayers and He has said, “Yes!” But did you catch that? David starts a brand new job. On Monday…. Pray for us, y’all. J
